


the flashback

by thelastavenger



Series: the visits [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, M/M, Marvel - Freeform, Stucky - Freeform, chris evans - Freeform, stevebucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 07:44:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14637279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastavenger/pseuds/thelastavenger
Summary: On a visit to Bucky in Wakanda, Steve remembers a moment from his past.





	the flashback

"Captain! Nice to see you again." Shuri smiled as Steve walked into her lab. She appeared to be busy with some hologram bearing resemblance to a brain, and so whilst Steve assumed it had something to do with Bucky, he had no idea exactly how it could work.  
"Please, Shuri, just call me Steve." He replied, mirroring her smile.  
"Of course. You know where he is." 

The lab was vast and filled with technology beyond anything Steve had ever imagined. When he came out of the ice he had made a list of things to catch up on but no one had ever warned him of technological advancements such as those in Wakanda. Truth be told, he didn't think many people in the world would be able to imagine this kind of technology either. 

Before Steve could admire the modern day marvel that Shuri had built for herself, his attention was grabbed by something else. Bucky. Suddenly, the technology around him wasn't the most incredible thing in the room. 

Steve's hand touched the cold glass and, dammit, he thought to himself, no matter how many times he visits it will never get easier to realise that there's only so close he can get. 

He took a seat in the chair set out for him next to Bucky and brought out his sketchbook and pencil. He restarted work on the drawing he left half-way done the last time he was there - a sketch of Bucky's profile. Nothing out of this world complex, but something Steve swore he could almost draw from memory, from a collection of stolen glances and late nights in the dim light. 

"Beautiful." Shuri says from behind him. Steve jumped - he hadn't even noticed she had walked over. "Do not worry - I am just changing over a filter in the machine." She gave a cheeky smile and headed around to the other side of the case.  
"Shuri do you have any idea how much longer this will take?" Steve said, rushed, before he could stop himself. 

Shuri slowly came out from behind the other side of the glass. 

"Anywhere from weeks to months." As soon as she spoke, she saw the disappointment on Steve's face. "We are making incredible progress, Captain. And whilst I understand you're desperate for it to be over, I do not want to rush anything so as to risk leaving behind some Soviet material."  
"I understand. Thank you, Shuri."  
"It is my pleasure. Mr Barnes will be restored to his former glory, do not worry. He will be as he was when you first knew him." She smiled a bright, proud, smile and walked back over to the platform with the hologram. 

Little did she know, the reference to Steve and Bucky's early relationship made Steve’s mind wander back to harder and even more trying times than those in front of him. 

// 

"Allow Barnes the dignity of his choice." Peggy said. Steve flinched at her use of his name. "He damn well must have thought you were worth it." 

"I'm going after Schmidt. I'm not gonna stop 'til all of Hydra's dead or captured." He could feel the anger in his broken voice. 

"You won't be alone." Peggy said, placing her hand over Steve's on the table. "Now come on. I'll drive you home." 

"I can't go home, I- I can't be back there alone."  
"Steve," Peggy said, giving his hand a squeeze, "you have to rest. You've been at it all week, you have to get some sleep. We will go after Hydra but we won't succeed if you're not absolutely one hundred percent. Even super soldiers need a break." She smiled. 

The apartment felt huge. Steve hadn't been back since the serum, so surely it should have felt smaller now that he'd grown so much...but it didn't. The one bed one bath apartment was built for one but meant for two. The air felt thick and heavy and Steve was finding it harder and harder to breathe. 

He grabbed on to the table to stop himself from passing out. The table with two chairs. 

Desperate to get out of his war-stained clothes, he walked quickly to the bedroom and started going through his closet. 

Quickly, he realised that since he hadn't been back here since the serum, he didn't have any clothes here that fit him. 

So he would have to wear Bucky's. 

He took off his pants and changed into one of Bucky's favourite t-shirts. The cotton was soft. Compared to his uniform, it felt like a cloud. He closed his eyes and imagined that it wasn't Bucky's. It was his, no one else's, and he was fine. But, soon enough, the smell reached his nose. Bucky's smell. Smoke from the days he would target practice. Damp from the hours he would spend sitting on the fire escape late at night. His Purex Sta-Flo laundry detergent. And with that, it all came crumbling down. 

"...you have to rest." 

Resting should be a relief, it should be easy. Resting is not crying into a pillow you sprayed with a loved one's Old Spice aftershave. Resting is not shivering above the sheets because you can't bring yourself to be under a comforter that is meant to be shared. Resting is not leaving the light on because, in the dark, you could feel around the other side of the bed to find him. 

// 

"Captain?" Shuri placed a hand on Steve's shoulder. 

"Sorry." 

"Don’t be sorry, I was just checking you were alright. You seemed lost in though. Really, Steve - it is only a short matter of time until the white wolf will be ready to wake up." 

"I'll be here when he does."

**Author's Note:**

> there are more chapters to come in this series of steve visiting bucky!


End file.
